Excerpts
It Is What It Is: Further Adventures of a Western Mystic
MY MOTHER RETURNS
MY MOTHER RETURNS

Twenty years after my mother died, I woke from a nap one afternoon and sensed her presence. At first, I thought it might be one of the Deities I visualized as part of my tantric practice, for it was a loving, maternal presence, while in life she had seemed cold and unfeeling. I sat up and saw it truly was my mother, only now she was as beautiful as she had been as a young woman. Knowing she would not appear for a trivial purpose, I asked, “Mom, what can I do for you?”
“I need for you to forgive me,” she said.
“Of course, I forgive you…didn’t I forgive you on your deathbed?”
“No, I mean really forgive. Saint Germain has told me that I cannot progress in my evolution and that he cannot take me to a higher level until you let go of your pain.”
I thought that I had let go of those issues a long time ago, but I now saw that some emotional wounds were still there, and I had further work to do. I saw you cannot simply decree feelings out of existence. They are interwoven with all aspects of our being and need to be brought to the surface, looked at, understood, and dissolved. Only then can we be free.
Our evolution is inextricably connected. Although she had been responsible for my death in past lives, in this one she had given me life. To raise me as best she knew how had been the focus of her life. Now she could advance no further until I let go of past wounds.
I thought about what had made her the way she was. I realized how cruel her own parents had been. Her mother had believed she was a descendent of Catherine the Great of Russia, so had tried to live like an aristocrat. She hired governesses to raise her daughter, frequently poor girls escaping the famine in Ireland. Some would only stay a year before running off. No wonder she had grown up wounded, feeling rejected by her mother, and not knowing how to be a mother herself.
Who knows, perhaps I had hurt her in a previous life? In any case, karmic lessons had arisen, and their emotional wounds needed to be healed. I realized, Perhaps I am the one who caused her coldness by something I once did and that I no longer remember. Or, I might have caused a similar wound in someone else and, in order to cure that tendency, needed to reap the consequences? I could not have been born to this woman if it were not the consequence of my own previous actions.
I let go of my victimhood and took responsibility for myself, realizing, I am the cause of everything in my life.
I felt suddenly free. A wave of forgiveness and compassion washed through my heart. I asked Saint Germain to grant my mother liberation…to take her to the higher world he had shown her. I knew someday we would meet again…as dear friends.
Three months later my mother appeared again, this time accompanied by her mother, Hannah, who ascended in my youth. They both wore white robes and had their arms around each other’s shoulders. They smiled with great love and compassion, and my mother said, “Thank you for releasing me. I am now free…and so are you.”
The two beautiful lady masters, who in Tibet would have been called dakinis, then disappeared. I feel them draw close occasionally, to help when the need arises.
“I need for you to forgive me,” she said.
“Of course, I forgive you…didn’t I forgive you on your deathbed?”
“No, I mean really forgive. Saint Germain has told me that I cannot progress in my evolution and that he cannot take me to a higher level until you let go of your pain.”
I thought that I had let go of those issues a long time ago, but I now saw that some emotional wounds were still there, and I had further work to do. I saw you cannot simply decree feelings out of existence. They are interwoven with all aspects of our being and need to be brought to the surface, looked at, understood, and dissolved. Only then can we be free.
Our evolution is inextricably connected. Although she had been responsible for my death in past lives, in this one she had given me life. To raise me as best she knew how had been the focus of her life. Now she could advance no further until I let go of past wounds.
I thought about what had made her the way she was. I realized how cruel her own parents had been. Her mother had believed she was a descendent of Catherine the Great of Russia, so had tried to live like an aristocrat. She hired governesses to raise her daughter, frequently poor girls escaping the famine in Ireland. Some would only stay a year before running off. No wonder she had grown up wounded, feeling rejected by her mother, and not knowing how to be a mother herself.
Who knows, perhaps I had hurt her in a previous life? In any case, karmic lessons had arisen, and their emotional wounds needed to be healed. I realized, Perhaps I am the one who caused her coldness by something I once did and that I no longer remember. Or, I might have caused a similar wound in someone else and, in order to cure that tendency, needed to reap the consequences? I could not have been born to this woman if it were not the consequence of my own previous actions.
I let go of my victimhood and took responsibility for myself, realizing, I am the cause of everything in my life.
I felt suddenly free. A wave of forgiveness and compassion washed through my heart. I asked Saint Germain to grant my mother liberation…to take her to the higher world he had shown her. I knew someday we would meet again…as dear friends.
Three months later my mother appeared again, this time accompanied by her mother, Hannah, who ascended in my youth. They both wore white robes and had their arms around each other’s shoulders. They smiled with great love and compassion, and my mother said, “Thank you for releasing me. I am now free…and so are you.”
The two beautiful lady masters, who in Tibet would have been called dakinis, then disappeared. I feel them draw close occasionally, to help when the need arises.
My Search in Tibet for the Secret Wish-Fulfilling Jewel
CHAPTER 7
ENCOUNTERING A NALJORPA
CHAPTER 7
ENCOUNTERING A NALJORPA

The next morning I rose early, and as it was cold, wrapped myself in my chuba. I felt a pull to walk up the path on the far side of the river that led further into the mountains. It was what some call a gut feeling, although it came from the center of my chest. I had learned that even though I knew how to contact the Masters, guidance in most everyday situations comes through following this inner feeling. After a half hour climb, I stopped to catch my breath and watch the sun rise over the Himalayan peaks. I soon had the feeling that I was being watched. Looking around, I saw there was a cave up the slope. In its entrance, a man with dreadlocks stared at me. This must be the naljorpa I had seen in my dream, one of those rare beings that inhabit remote parts of Tibet. Surely, this must be where the Presence had been guiding me.
I had heard that these yogis practice the Six Yogas of Naropa, the generation of inner heat (Tummo) being only the first practice toward full mastery of body and mind. 1 Steve had said that when Naropa began his spiritual quest he underwent twelve ordeals, each of which taught an essential lesson. After meeting his guru, Tilopa, he underwent an additional twelve major ordeals, which eventually prepared him for mastery.
Fascinated by the powerful, yet serene energy of this yogi, I scrambled up the loose rock until I stood before him. He sat in lotus posture on a flat boulder, wearing only a loincloth and a thin shawl around his shoulders. He continued to gaze as I approached, and then beckoned for me to sit beside him. I sat on the edge of his boulder with my feet on the icy ground.
Soon I was enveloped in a blanket of warmth. The yogi said nothing, but I felt so warm I took off my chuba. This was the technique of tummo I had heard about that was known as the first yoga of Naropa, and I wondered if he would teach it to me. It would certainly be useful in dealing with
the cold winters back home. No sooner had this thought passed through my mind than he said, “Yes, I could teach you, but you would have to practice for three years on retreat without heat or hot water. You can stay here in my cave. There’s plenty of room. Are you ready?”
As I toyed with the idea, he said, “People say they want to go on retreat, but when I offer them a place, they say they will think about it, but none come back. Go ahead, have a look around. Maybe you’ll want to stay,” he laughed.
I rose and entered the cave. On one side was a mat covered with a cotton shawl, and a rock Served as a shrine on which was a picture of Padmasambhava and his consort, Yeshe Tsogyal. Beside it were a bell, dorje, and some loose-leaf texts. There were no cooking implements, and I wondered if he was one of those yogis who absorb his nourishment directly from the Source.
I sat down in the back of the cave, imagining what it would be like to be on retreat here, probably surviving only on tsampa. I drew my chuba around me, as it had become cold as soon as I had left his presence, and I turned my attention inward. With no distractions, meditation came easily, and I was soon free of thought. Effortlessly, I soon found myself free of body awareness, free of self—simply as awareness observing waves of light flowing through boundless reaches of space—all was permeated by the all-pervasive drone of the cosmic OM, as from some omnipresent tambura. There was only being—and consciousness, wisdom, and bliss.
For how long this immersion in pure being lasted I do not know, but after a while I became aware as an observer again, of self and other. There were other non-physical intelligences with whom I was in mental contact, and looking down, I saw the blue ball of earth below. This is what I had experienced prior to taking birth in this lifetime. As I became more focused, I began to feel that familiar brotherly feeling of the Master Saint Germain, and looking up, saw his etheric white-robed form. Beside him was the Master Jesus, and on the other side a feminine being I recognized as Nada.
They smiled, and I nodded back. I felt only love—with no compulsion to bow, as religions teach. They were not promoting any religious worship but were motivated solely by the desire to liberate humanity from ignorance and awaken people to their own true Master potential.
Gradually these noble beings faded, and I became aware again of a body—a pain in my ankle from a pebble on which it had been lying. I moved it and stretched my legs, coming back fully into the relative world. I reflected on how in that consciousness of the One, there had been no
compulsion to recite affirmations or to try to make something happen. In that state of being, any thought would have manifested immediately, but there was no thought.
I emerged from the cave just as the sun rose above the ridge of the mountains, and the naljorpa asked, “Ready for retreat?”
I shook my head, knowing that my work was still in the world. I thanked him with one of the few Tibetan phrases I knew, “Tashi delek,” meaning, “May auspiciousness be yours.”
A blast of cold wind blew around the peak and down my neck, and I tightened the rope that held the folds of my chuba together and began my descent. I had wondered for many years if there were still such legendary beings as this naljorpa alive somewhere in the mountains, and now I knew.
[1] Naropa (1016-circa1100 CE), disciple of Tilopa, spiritual consort of Niguma. Subsequent students of his teachings were Marpa, and his student, Milarepa.
I had heard that these yogis practice the Six Yogas of Naropa, the generation of inner heat (Tummo) being only the first practice toward full mastery of body and mind. 1 Steve had said that when Naropa began his spiritual quest he underwent twelve ordeals, each of which taught an essential lesson. After meeting his guru, Tilopa, he underwent an additional twelve major ordeals, which eventually prepared him for mastery.
Fascinated by the powerful, yet serene energy of this yogi, I scrambled up the loose rock until I stood before him. He sat in lotus posture on a flat boulder, wearing only a loincloth and a thin shawl around his shoulders. He continued to gaze as I approached, and then beckoned for me to sit beside him. I sat on the edge of his boulder with my feet on the icy ground.
Soon I was enveloped in a blanket of warmth. The yogi said nothing, but I felt so warm I took off my chuba. This was the technique of tummo I had heard about that was known as the first yoga of Naropa, and I wondered if he would teach it to me. It would certainly be useful in dealing with
the cold winters back home. No sooner had this thought passed through my mind than he said, “Yes, I could teach you, but you would have to practice for three years on retreat without heat or hot water. You can stay here in my cave. There’s plenty of room. Are you ready?”
As I toyed with the idea, he said, “People say they want to go on retreat, but when I offer them a place, they say they will think about it, but none come back. Go ahead, have a look around. Maybe you’ll want to stay,” he laughed.
I rose and entered the cave. On one side was a mat covered with a cotton shawl, and a rock Served as a shrine on which was a picture of Padmasambhava and his consort, Yeshe Tsogyal. Beside it were a bell, dorje, and some loose-leaf texts. There were no cooking implements, and I wondered if he was one of those yogis who absorb his nourishment directly from the Source.
I sat down in the back of the cave, imagining what it would be like to be on retreat here, probably surviving only on tsampa. I drew my chuba around me, as it had become cold as soon as I had left his presence, and I turned my attention inward. With no distractions, meditation came easily, and I was soon free of thought. Effortlessly, I soon found myself free of body awareness, free of self—simply as awareness observing waves of light flowing through boundless reaches of space—all was permeated by the all-pervasive drone of the cosmic OM, as from some omnipresent tambura. There was only being—and consciousness, wisdom, and bliss.
For how long this immersion in pure being lasted I do not know, but after a while I became aware as an observer again, of self and other. There were other non-physical intelligences with whom I was in mental contact, and looking down, I saw the blue ball of earth below. This is what I had experienced prior to taking birth in this lifetime. As I became more focused, I began to feel that familiar brotherly feeling of the Master Saint Germain, and looking up, saw his etheric white-robed form. Beside him was the Master Jesus, and on the other side a feminine being I recognized as Nada.
They smiled, and I nodded back. I felt only love—with no compulsion to bow, as religions teach. They were not promoting any religious worship but were motivated solely by the desire to liberate humanity from ignorance and awaken people to their own true Master potential.
Gradually these noble beings faded, and I became aware again of a body—a pain in my ankle from a pebble on which it had been lying. I moved it and stretched my legs, coming back fully into the relative world. I reflected on how in that consciousness of the One, there had been no
compulsion to recite affirmations or to try to make something happen. In that state of being, any thought would have manifested immediately, but there was no thought.
I emerged from the cave just as the sun rose above the ridge of the mountains, and the naljorpa asked, “Ready for retreat?”
I shook my head, knowing that my work was still in the world. I thanked him with one of the few Tibetan phrases I knew, “Tashi delek,” meaning, “May auspiciousness be yours.”
A blast of cold wind blew around the peak and down my neck, and I tightened the rope that held the folds of my chuba together and began my descent. I had wondered for many years if there were still such legendary beings as this naljorpa alive somewhere in the mountains, and now I knew.
[1] Naropa (1016-circa1100 CE), disciple of Tilopa, spiritual consort of Niguma. Subsequent students of his teachings were Marpa, and his student, Milarepa.
"I AM" The Open Door
DISCOURSE I
GREAT DIVINE DIRECTOR
DISCOURSE I
GREAT DIVINE DIRECTOR

In the center of your being is a great Light, and you are that Light. This is the truth of your being. You shall know this truth and this truth shall make you free. This is the truth Jesus spoke, the truth for all men, that all men can know.
And how can you know this truth? By direct experience. The Light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world is a reality – as a reality it can be experienced.
As the wind cannot be seen, only its effect seen, only its pressure felt, so too can the effect of the Light within you be seen, Its pressure felt. And that pressure is a power far beyond the human mind to comprehend. If you would see that light then you must go to the Light; and that Light is within you – within, around and above. And all things are composed of that Light, and that Light is within all things. There is no thing, no person that is not of the Light.
But before the Light can be seen, it is felt; and to feel you must first develop the ability to feel. And the source of that ability to feel is in the heart. Your heart is the very center of your being; it is the center of your feelings, the center where the pressure of the light can first be felt – then seen – and it can be seen!
It takes practice. Do you know of anything worth attaining that does not take practice? Persevere – for the Light of God stands above all the world. And you are that Light! The more that you dwell on that Truth the more certain of it you will become, and the stronger will the truth of It be within you. Whatsoever your attention is upon that shall you become. Your Attention is a great lens by which you focus your energy and control your being.
In all that is that Power of Attention active at all times – whether consciously or unconsciously. What you are, what you experience at any given moment, is simply the result of what you have allowed your attention to be focused upon. If you allow your attention to be attracted by things of the senses you will live in a world of the senses, a captive; while if you direct your attention to the Light within you will find freedom, and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You have within you every moment the choice.
In the center of your being you have a Divine Director – the Consciousness of the Real You – that will guide and direct you in your choice at every moment if you will turn your attention to it. And It is a Great Blazing Sun within you. I thank you. Into Thy hands, O Father, I commend myself, mind, heart, life, world, for I know that I AM your child. From you I came; all that I have – all that I AM – is yours, and unto you I now and forever return. Thy Will Be Done through me as it is in you – I AM, One In God Forever.
And how can you know this truth? By direct experience. The Light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world is a reality – as a reality it can be experienced.
As the wind cannot be seen, only its effect seen, only its pressure felt, so too can the effect of the Light within you be seen, Its pressure felt. And that pressure is a power far beyond the human mind to comprehend. If you would see that light then you must go to the Light; and that Light is within you – within, around and above. And all things are composed of that Light, and that Light is within all things. There is no thing, no person that is not of the Light.
But before the Light can be seen, it is felt; and to feel you must first develop the ability to feel. And the source of that ability to feel is in the heart. Your heart is the very center of your being; it is the center of your feelings, the center where the pressure of the light can first be felt – then seen – and it can be seen!
It takes practice. Do you know of anything worth attaining that does not take practice? Persevere – for the Light of God stands above all the world. And you are that Light! The more that you dwell on that Truth the more certain of it you will become, and the stronger will the truth of It be within you. Whatsoever your attention is upon that shall you become. Your Attention is a great lens by which you focus your energy and control your being.
In all that is that Power of Attention active at all times – whether consciously or unconsciously. What you are, what you experience at any given moment, is simply the result of what you have allowed your attention to be focused upon. If you allow your attention to be attracted by things of the senses you will live in a world of the senses, a captive; while if you direct your attention to the Light within you will find freedom, and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. You have within you every moment the choice.
In the center of your being you have a Divine Director – the Consciousness of the Real You – that will guide and direct you in your choice at every moment if you will turn your attention to it. And It is a Great Blazing Sun within you. I thank you. Into Thy hands, O Father, I commend myself, mind, heart, life, world, for I know that I AM your child. From you I came; all that I have – all that I AM – is yours, and unto you I now and forever return. Thy Will Be Done through me as it is in you – I AM, One In God Forever.
"I AM" Affirmations and the Secret of their Effective Use
THE GREAT "I AM"

Before Abraham, was I AM. -John 8:58
And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM. -Exodus 3:13-14
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. -John 1:1
I AM the beginning, the middle and the end of all creation. . . .I AM the origin of all being. . . .There is nothing, animate or inanimate, that can exist without Me. - Bhagavad-Gita, Lord Krishna
The use of Affirmations is an ancient yet powerful way to influence reality. However, one must first realize that the doorway to the reality to be changed is within oneself. What you can change is within you. To try to influence something "out there" with ego, mind and willpower only creates a karmic link binding one to the consequences of that forceful action.
Once you realize the true nature of reality within yourself, you see things in a new light, that for the lessons we need to learn things may already be the way they are supposed to be, and without any need for intervention. Perhaps the change that is required is within our own perceptions? Regardless, inward change is the only way effective change is achieved anywhere, for all outer change begins within.
From the beginning of time "I AM" has been known as the secret name of God. Since we are made "in the image and likeness" of God, it is also our secret name, and in knowing how to tap into that true essence we become creators capable of miracles. Using "I AM" affirmations we can guide our consciousness to bring forth whatever the Universe wishes into form and manifestation.
This process is so simple even a child can accomplish it, for all that is needed is the belief that whatever can be conceived of is possible.
However, we must first realize that as our divine nature has duplicated itself in human form, that "I" has also created its own shadow, the ego, which tries to usurp our consciousness by pretending it is the source, center and goal of our world. Only when we see that dual nature, the illusory self and the true self that is the Source of our being, can we progress on the path of mastery and conscious creation.
Otherwise we are merely replicating our own confusion in the world, and assuring that we will have to come back to experience the consequences of our misdirected thoughts and actions—and every thought is an action.
To see this more clearly, imagine you are sitting in a movie theatre. You are watching an exciting film filled with action, romance and adventure. It is so well written, acted and directed that you find yourself drawn into the story. You forget you are in a theatre, and become the living drama. However, the story does not go as you like. It becomes so painful you take a deep breath and look around for escape. Then you realize that you are only in a theatre, watching an imaginary story. You look backward at the light from the projector shinning over your head, and you breathe a sigh of relief, for you realize that you have only been watching digital images of light animated on the screen before you. You remember who you are, that you are not part of that drama, that you are a separate individual who was drawn into something not real by the seduction of your attention.
By remaining in touch with the breath, the rising and falling of your chest, and by being aware of the light in the area of your heart where your soul is anchored, you can simultaneously observe the movie and learn the lesson it holds for you, yet at the same time remain aware that you are not that. You are the living light, the light that gives life and illuminates reality wherever your attention flows.
You have awakened to the realization that you are not that story. But what about your story? What about the drama of your own life, your own movie? Have you awakened to that illusion? Can you observe that film, knowing that you are not that, that your daily life is merely a series of thoughts, feelings and images made relatively real by the light of your own inner light? When you have realized your true nature then you can create consciously without creating the negative residue called karma.
This is where meditation comes in. "Meditation" means going to the middle, the center of your being, where you look into that light and see revealed about you the shadows you had thought were real, which you can now dissolve. There, in the center of your being, you realize your true, unlimited nature.
You see the two "I"s, the ego identified with the dream body, acting more or less selfishly and unconsciously in your movie, playing the part assigned it as a result of past life actions; and you see the other "I," the free, unlimited light that is the Consciousness of your True Self.
The miracle of this paradox is that one does not necessarily exclude the other. You can be aware of the True Self, the absolute "I," and still play your part in the movie of your life, the egoic role of the relative "I," much as an actor wears a costume. In being thus conscious you are in the world but not of the world. You are an ordinary being among other ordinary beings, except that you are conscious of who you are, and no longer motivated by ignorance, doubt, and selfishness. When you are aware of your True Self you see that those negative qualities of the illusory self only lead to bondage, limitation and suffering, while identifying with your True Self leads to wisdom, compassion, bliss and enlightened action.
Gradually, as you keep returning your focus to the center of your being, the illusion of the lower self dissolves, and there is only one "I." There is only one unbroken stream of consciousness. Just as you can have a conversation with someone and at the same time hear the wind in the trees and see a cloud passing over the face of the sun, so too can you be aware of your unlimited and limited natures. Once in this consciousness you are on the path of self mastery, and can do the work of a Bodhisattva in compassionate service to others.
And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM. -Exodus 3:13-14
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. -John 1:1
I AM the beginning, the middle and the end of all creation. . . .I AM the origin of all being. . . .There is nothing, animate or inanimate, that can exist without Me. - Bhagavad-Gita, Lord Krishna
The use of Affirmations is an ancient yet powerful way to influence reality. However, one must first realize that the doorway to the reality to be changed is within oneself. What you can change is within you. To try to influence something "out there" with ego, mind and willpower only creates a karmic link binding one to the consequences of that forceful action.
Once you realize the true nature of reality within yourself, you see things in a new light, that for the lessons we need to learn things may already be the way they are supposed to be, and without any need for intervention. Perhaps the change that is required is within our own perceptions? Regardless, inward change is the only way effective change is achieved anywhere, for all outer change begins within.
From the beginning of time "I AM" has been known as the secret name of God. Since we are made "in the image and likeness" of God, it is also our secret name, and in knowing how to tap into that true essence we become creators capable of miracles. Using "I AM" affirmations we can guide our consciousness to bring forth whatever the Universe wishes into form and manifestation.
This process is so simple even a child can accomplish it, for all that is needed is the belief that whatever can be conceived of is possible.
However, we must first realize that as our divine nature has duplicated itself in human form, that "I" has also created its own shadow, the ego, which tries to usurp our consciousness by pretending it is the source, center and goal of our world. Only when we see that dual nature, the illusory self and the true self that is the Source of our being, can we progress on the path of mastery and conscious creation.
Otherwise we are merely replicating our own confusion in the world, and assuring that we will have to come back to experience the consequences of our misdirected thoughts and actions—and every thought is an action.
To see this more clearly, imagine you are sitting in a movie theatre. You are watching an exciting film filled with action, romance and adventure. It is so well written, acted and directed that you find yourself drawn into the story. You forget you are in a theatre, and become the living drama. However, the story does not go as you like. It becomes so painful you take a deep breath and look around for escape. Then you realize that you are only in a theatre, watching an imaginary story. You look backward at the light from the projector shinning over your head, and you breathe a sigh of relief, for you realize that you have only been watching digital images of light animated on the screen before you. You remember who you are, that you are not part of that drama, that you are a separate individual who was drawn into something not real by the seduction of your attention.
By remaining in touch with the breath, the rising and falling of your chest, and by being aware of the light in the area of your heart where your soul is anchored, you can simultaneously observe the movie and learn the lesson it holds for you, yet at the same time remain aware that you are not that. You are the living light, the light that gives life and illuminates reality wherever your attention flows.
You have awakened to the realization that you are not that story. But what about your story? What about the drama of your own life, your own movie? Have you awakened to that illusion? Can you observe that film, knowing that you are not that, that your daily life is merely a series of thoughts, feelings and images made relatively real by the light of your own inner light? When you have realized your true nature then you can create consciously without creating the negative residue called karma.
This is where meditation comes in. "Meditation" means going to the middle, the center of your being, where you look into that light and see revealed about you the shadows you had thought were real, which you can now dissolve. There, in the center of your being, you realize your true, unlimited nature.
You see the two "I"s, the ego identified with the dream body, acting more or less selfishly and unconsciously in your movie, playing the part assigned it as a result of past life actions; and you see the other "I," the free, unlimited light that is the Consciousness of your True Self.
The miracle of this paradox is that one does not necessarily exclude the other. You can be aware of the True Self, the absolute "I," and still play your part in the movie of your life, the egoic role of the relative "I," much as an actor wears a costume. In being thus conscious you are in the world but not of the world. You are an ordinary being among other ordinary beings, except that you are conscious of who you are, and no longer motivated by ignorance, doubt, and selfishness. When you are aware of your True Self you see that those negative qualities of the illusory self only lead to bondage, limitation and suffering, while identifying with your True Self leads to wisdom, compassion, bliss and enlightened action.
Gradually, as you keep returning your focus to the center of your being, the illusion of the lower self dissolves, and there is only one "I." There is only one unbroken stream of consciousness. Just as you can have a conversation with someone and at the same time hear the wind in the trees and see a cloud passing over the face of the sun, so too can you be aware of your unlimited and limited natures. Once in this consciousness you are on the path of self mastery, and can do the work of a Bodhisattva in compassionate service to others.
Affirmations for Spiritual Realization
I AM the Presence of God.
I AM the Living light.
I AM the Light of the world.
I AM Love.
I AM the sun of God (Extended your arms to each side, visualizing light radiating from your palms).
I AM the Living Christ (Extend your arms in blessing).
I AM one with all.
I AM a White Fire Being from the heart of the Great Central Sun.
I AM the Great Divine Director of my life and world.
I AM Holy, Pure and Perfect.
I AM here, I AM there, I AM the only Presence acting everywhere
I AM the Resurrection and the Life.
I AM the Ascension in the Light.
I AM the Luminous Presence of Jesus.
I AM a White Fire Being from the heart of the Great Central Sun.
I AM Love, Love, Love.
I AM Light, Light, Light.
I AM God, God, God.
I AM that I AM THAT I AM.
Affirmations for Other Purposes
I AM the Great Divine Director of all the governments of the Earth.
I AM going before me through this store, guided and attracted to only what I AM meant to have, and repelled by and unaware of all else.
I AM the Great Divine Director of my computer, telephone and all my other electrical equipment.
I AM the Resurrection and the Life of my car, which is maintained perfectly at all times.
I AM the Great Divine Director of all the military and police forces of the Earth.
I Am the presence of Saint Germain, the Goddess of Justice and the Lords of Karma come forth through all courts,
legal and administrative justice systems, bringing all into harmony with the Ascended Masters Divine Plan
I AM the Great Divine Director of the world economy and international banking system, bringing about Divine Abundance for all.
I AM Divine Justice come forth now through every court and legal proceeding.
I AM the Illumining Revealing Presence showing me what I need to work on within myself, and healing all wounds
of which I may not even be aware.
I AM learning from every moment in life.
I AM the Presence taking out of me anything less than perfection, and dissolving and consuming it forever.
I AM dealing with myself so that others do not have to.
I AM the Living Christ: Teachings of Jesus
BEWARE FALSE PROPHETS
BEWARE FALSE PROPHETS

Jesus left the temple and was going away, but his disciples pulled him aside to show him the temple’s magnificent exterior.
“You see all these stone blocks of which this temple is built?” he said. “There will not be one stone left standing upon another that will not be thrown down.”
Jesus went to meditate on the Mount of Olives, but his disciples sought him out and asked, “When will these things that you talk about happen? What will be the sign of the end of the age?”
Jesus answered, saying, “See that no one leads you astray, for many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ or ‘I have a message from the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but do not be alarmed for the end is not yet. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains. Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for your Light and Wisdom. Then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. Then many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. Lawlessness will increase and the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”
“You see all these stone blocks of which this temple is built?” he said. “There will not be one stone left standing upon another that will not be thrown down.”
Jesus went to meditate on the Mount of Olives, but his disciples sought him out and asked, “When will these things that you talk about happen? What will be the sign of the end of the age?”
Jesus answered, saying, “See that no one leads you astray, for many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ or ‘I have a message from the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but do not be alarmed for the end is not yet. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains. Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for your Light and Wisdom. Then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. Then many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. Lawlessness will increase and the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”
THE TRIBULATION
They asked, “When exactly will this happen?”
Jesus answered, “When you see the abomination of desolation spoken of by the prophet Daniel, standing in the holy place—this is when Jerusalem is surrounded by hostile armies—then flee to the mountains. Let the one who is on the housetop not go down to take what is in his house, and the one who is in the field not turn back to take his coat. Then there will be great tribulation such as has not been seen from the beginning of the world until now—no, nor ever will be seen again. If these days are not cut short, no human will survive. But, for the sake of the elect these days will be cut short. Then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. False Christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders and give many amazing messages so as to lead people astray, if possible, even the elect.
“The Kingdom of God is not coming in ways that can be observed outwardly, where you can say, ‘Look, here it is!’ for the Kingdom of God is within you.
“Even though they will say, ‘Look, here!’ or ‘Look, there!’ Do not go out or follow them, for as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will come the Son of Man in the clouds of Heaven. But first he must suffer and be rejected by this generation. Just as it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days ahead. Then they were eating and drinking and marrying until the day when Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. It was likewise in the days of Lot—they were eating, drinking, fornicating, conducting business deals, planting and building, but on the day Lot abandoned the evil city of Sodom, fire and sulfur rained from the sky and destroyed them all—so will it be on the day of Revelation.
“Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken, and all the peoples of the Earth will mourn. Then will appear in the sky the Son of Man coming in the clouds of Heaven with great power and glory. And he will send forth his Angels with a loud trumpet, and they will gather his chosen from the ends of the Earth.
“From the fig tree learn this lesson: As soon as its branch becomes tender and it puts out shoots, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see all these things, you will know the end is near, even at the very gates. Truly I tell you, this age will not pass away until all these things take place. Heaven and Earth will pass away, but the truth of my words will not pass away.
“Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. Two women will be grinding grain at the mill; one will be taken and one left. Therefore wake up, for you do not know on what day the Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
“Watch your mind lest it be weighed down by delusions, political intrigue, drunkenness and drugs, lust, and the worries of life, for the day comes suddenly like a thunderbolt for all who dwell on the face of the Earth. Watch your mind and wake up! Control your attention. Stay alert, and pray that you escape all these things that are going to take place to the nations of the Earth.”
Jesus answered, “When you see the abomination of desolation spoken of by the prophet Daniel, standing in the holy place—this is when Jerusalem is surrounded by hostile armies—then flee to the mountains. Let the one who is on the housetop not go down to take what is in his house, and the one who is in the field not turn back to take his coat. Then there will be great tribulation such as has not been seen from the beginning of the world until now—no, nor ever will be seen again. If these days are not cut short, no human will survive. But, for the sake of the elect these days will be cut short. Then if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Christ!’ or ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. False Christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders and give many amazing messages so as to lead people astray, if possible, even the elect.
“The Kingdom of God is not coming in ways that can be observed outwardly, where you can say, ‘Look, here it is!’ for the Kingdom of God is within you.
“Even though they will say, ‘Look, here!’ or ‘Look, there!’ Do not go out or follow them, for as the lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will come the Son of Man in the clouds of Heaven. But first he must suffer and be rejected by this generation. Just as it was in the days of Noah, so will it be in the days ahead. Then they were eating and drinking and marrying until the day when Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. It was likewise in the days of Lot—they were eating, drinking, fornicating, conducting business deals, planting and building, but on the day Lot abandoned the evil city of Sodom, fire and sulfur rained from the sky and destroyed them all—so will it be on the day of Revelation.
“Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken, and all the peoples of the Earth will mourn. Then will appear in the sky the Son of Man coming in the clouds of Heaven with great power and glory. And he will send forth his Angels with a loud trumpet, and they will gather his chosen from the ends of the Earth.
“From the fig tree learn this lesson: As soon as its branch becomes tender and it puts out shoots, you know that summer is near. So also, when you see all these things, you will know the end is near, even at the very gates. Truly I tell you, this age will not pass away until all these things take place. Heaven and Earth will pass away, but the truth of my words will not pass away.
“Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and one left. Two women will be grinding grain at the mill; one will be taken and one left. Therefore wake up, for you do not know on what day the Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
“Watch your mind lest it be weighed down by delusions, political intrigue, drunkenness and drugs, lust, and the worries of life, for the day comes suddenly like a thunderbolt for all who dwell on the face of the Earth. Watch your mind and wake up! Control your attention. Stay alert, and pray that you escape all these things that are going to take place to the nations of the Earth.”
I AM the Violet Tara
Goddess of Forgiveness and Freedom
PREFACE
Goddess of Forgiveness and Freedom
PREFACE

As luminous beings, we sacrificed some of that luminosity with our decision to eat of the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. To learn this lesson and acquire the wisdom and compassion we sought, we entered into animal bodies who had to struggle for survival. Thus arose the need to preserve these bodies, and hence the generation of ego. Fully identified with the dense body and its needs, the ego asserted almost full control. In fact, we forgot who we truly are and began to identify with the ego.
The egoic mind organizes reality according to boundaries: good and evil, mine and yours, pleasure and pain, right and wrong, good and bad. Ego sets itself as the master of the mind, programming it according to its needs. However, this life in duality does not lead to happiness. We find ourselves banished from the Garden of Eden into the mundane world—the samsara of struggle in the world of constantly changing dreams. People think I will be happy when I get everything I want, but that moment never arrives.
Now and then a brave soul made a quest into the mountains or the depths of the forest to find the secret of happiness. Occasionally one succeeded and emerged with clues to share, and over time specific teachings emerged. Some of these teachings have been codified into religions, which eventually lost most of the original essence and became tools to control people’s minds instead of liberate them. It is my intent to share here some of the ancient teachings that will help you remember who you truly are.
To remember who you are you must understand the egoic mind. It is similar to a computer operating system bundled with various pre-installed applications, one of which operates as the ego. The ego controls many sub-programs such as emotions, thoughts, and beliefs, that activate automatically in various situations as fear, anger, violence, jealousy, attachment, desire, aversion, pride, vanity, and laziness—all of which are the result of ignorance.[1]
The first step to remembering who you are is to know that the mind, emotions, sensations and the body are not you—the real you is beyond all these. They are only functions of your operating system. Why not log in as the Administrator and delete those aspects of your mind that have been holding you back from operating at your full capacity and from attaining freedom. To find out who you really are, you need to break your identification with that operating system and assert your full dominion as the Administrator. That step cannot occur while the ego programs are loaded and operating. If you try to edit the code, then the system will crash, and you will become non-functional. However, if you shut down the ego for a while and go for a walk in the forest, sit and meditate, you will find there is a vaster world, a larger program. You will find the larger mind—consciousness itself, which lies beyond the control of the human self.
The mind runs all sensory and mental data through algorithms to maintain the illusion that the computer is in control. It does not compute vagueness, uncertainty, or multiple possible answers. There is only one right answer, one right way to do everything, and it does not like to be wrong. Mysticism is a completely foreign element to the ego because it does not fit any algorithm, nor does it appear to foster material survival, be of benefit to the body, or increase one’s material status. Hence, the mind tries to prevent any attempt at reprogramming. Your screen may go blank, and then you need to press the reset button. That is what this book offers, a way to reset your mind. Resetting the mind requires bold action. There are several ways to achieve a “reset,” some of them spontaneous, but they can prove to be traumatic and are often dangerous:
No matter what it takes to awaken you, if you survive the experience you will need to assimilate your new awareness into your human life. It is toward that end that the practices here are offered.
[1] Buddhists lump these together as theFive Poisons that we transform into the Five Wisdoms, while the Bible talks about the Seven Deadly Sins as opposed to the Seven Virtues.
The egoic mind organizes reality according to boundaries: good and evil, mine and yours, pleasure and pain, right and wrong, good and bad. Ego sets itself as the master of the mind, programming it according to its needs. However, this life in duality does not lead to happiness. We find ourselves banished from the Garden of Eden into the mundane world—the samsara of struggle in the world of constantly changing dreams. People think I will be happy when I get everything I want, but that moment never arrives.
Now and then a brave soul made a quest into the mountains or the depths of the forest to find the secret of happiness. Occasionally one succeeded and emerged with clues to share, and over time specific teachings emerged. Some of these teachings have been codified into religions, which eventually lost most of the original essence and became tools to control people’s minds instead of liberate them. It is my intent to share here some of the ancient teachings that will help you remember who you truly are.
To remember who you are you must understand the egoic mind. It is similar to a computer operating system bundled with various pre-installed applications, one of which operates as the ego. The ego controls many sub-programs such as emotions, thoughts, and beliefs, that activate automatically in various situations as fear, anger, violence, jealousy, attachment, desire, aversion, pride, vanity, and laziness—all of which are the result of ignorance.[1]
The first step to remembering who you are is to know that the mind, emotions, sensations and the body are not you—the real you is beyond all these. They are only functions of your operating system. Why not log in as the Administrator and delete those aspects of your mind that have been holding you back from operating at your full capacity and from attaining freedom. To find out who you really are, you need to break your identification with that operating system and assert your full dominion as the Administrator. That step cannot occur while the ego programs are loaded and operating. If you try to edit the code, then the system will crash, and you will become non-functional. However, if you shut down the ego for a while and go for a walk in the forest, sit and meditate, you will find there is a vaster world, a larger program. You will find the larger mind—consciousness itself, which lies beyond the control of the human self.
The mind runs all sensory and mental data through algorithms to maintain the illusion that the computer is in control. It does not compute vagueness, uncertainty, or multiple possible answers. There is only one right answer, one right way to do everything, and it does not like to be wrong. Mysticism is a completely foreign element to the ego because it does not fit any algorithm, nor does it appear to foster material survival, be of benefit to the body, or increase one’s material status. Hence, the mind tries to prevent any attempt at reprogramming. Your screen may go blank, and then you need to press the reset button. That is what this book offers, a way to reset your mind. Resetting the mind requires bold action. There are several ways to achieve a “reset,” some of them spontaneous, but they can prove to be traumatic and are often dangerous:
- Near-death experiences: Your body dies, and you experience conscious existence beyond the body, ego, personality, and conventional mind. Then your body revives and your system reboots with a larger and more intuitive operating system, assuming you recover fully.
- Emotional shock: Someone dies unexpectedly, your partner leaves you, your home is destroyed in an earthquake or war, you are fired and become homeless. The uncertainty caused by this shock forces the mind to let go of its routine program and search for a more inclusive view of reality.
- Grace: You have a sudden insight independent of anything. This can sometimes be given by a Master or your Higher Self, independent of any external happening. These insights can come at any moment and without preparation. The Zen tradition calls these kensho experiences.
- Entheogens: Throughout history people close to nature have used plant substances to transcend the boundaries of the rational mind. Many of these substances supply DMT, the same molecule produced by the human pineal gland. These substances, such as certain mushrooms and ayahuasca, should be taken only when there is direct inner guidance, and when there are no mental or physical contraindications.
- Meditation: You still your mind and inquire into the nature of the self. Other forms of meditation are light and sound meditation, also Vajrayana, which uses visualization, mantra, and mudra (rituals or hand gestures) to deconstruct the mundane mind. There is also Zen, and Dzogchen, where the mind is observed in the moment and without the support of any concrete practice.
No matter what it takes to awaken you, if you survive the experience you will need to assimilate your new awareness into your human life. It is toward that end that the practices here are offered.
[1] Buddhists lump these together as theFive Poisons that we transform into the Five Wisdoms, while the Bible talks about the Seven Deadly Sins as opposed to the Seven Virtues.
INVOCATION OF THE VIOLET TARA
One of the main accomplishments of this practice is the understanding and ultimate attainment of the Deity within yourself.[2]This Deity was not a historical person who lived on Earth, not an Angel, nor Ascended Master, but a Deity you call forth from your own Consciousness who reveals to you an aspect of yourself. It begins as what esotericism would call a thought-form but created in the image of a God. However, your practice takes it beyond that. By mastering this practice, you can be in multiple places and frequencies simultaneously, as well as master the physical plane.
The purpose is not to replace the Masters, but to help you tap in to the same Source as the Masters. You need to learn how to do what the Masters do rather than rely on them for everything—for it is only in practicing mastery that you become a Master. Creating a Deity is an act of your own God Power, for you are a Creator, an embodiment of self-existing, innate unlimited consciousness. This enables you to be whatever you wish, to recreate yourself in whatever form and with whatever attributes you desire.
Now you will invoke and become the Violet Tara. She manifests the aspect of the Divine Mother that dissolves ignorance, judgments, negative energy, and raises everything her gaze rests upon into a state of higher purity and perfection. Her consciousness is present everywhere and at all times just as violet light is always present in white light—so she is present in our consciousness, waiting to be invoked. You don’t see violet light until white light passes through a prism or raindrops and is diffracted into its constituent colors. As the Divine Mother has given birth to everything in nature, the violet light is one of her expressions as much as the flowers of the Earth.
Saint Germain, as the Chohan (head) of the 7th Ray, helps direct this activity on the Earth for the benefit of humanity. It is through his initiative that the Council of Light has allowed him to teach this activity to his students. He now enlists our support to manifest this purifying activity. Even without following the steps given here, you can always invoke the Violet Consuming Flame by your own sincere thoughts and actions. Simply by meditating, the purifying activity of the Violet Flame takes place to some degree on its own. However, the practices given here amplify its activity to a much greater degree.
Deity creation begins the same way all creation takes place—with a vision. Then comes verbal enunciation of what you desire (through affirmation or mantra)—then comes acceptance. Visualize what you want. An artist starts with an image in mind; a carpenter who wants to make a chair starts with the thought of a chair. Here, you will focus on the thought and image of Violet Tara.
First, dedicate your anticipated action for the benefit of humanity.[3] Enter a state of peaceful awareness, free of thoughts, allowing your mind to settle in the soft spot near your heart. See yourself seated in a beautiful amethyst temple with amethyst pillars and a floor of white marble. Outside the temple stand the Lords of the Four Directions. In the sky surrounding the temple are the Seven Mighty Elohim (Hebrew: Gods). These are manifestations of the seven spirits (Sanskrit: Saptarishis)that emanated from the Source, whose activity is carried out on Earth by the seven Elohim, the seven Ascended Masters, Saint Germain being the Elohim of the Seventh Ray.
Standing before you is Violet Tara, made of violet light, offering in her hands an amethyst, sword, and mala. These represent the three aspects of all tantric practice: mantra, mudra, and visualization. Her arms are outstretched toward you, and myriad rays of violet light emanate from her heart to yours. Pray as follows to Saint Germain for this vision to be empowered (obtain the book to read the remainder the practice).
[2]In Vajrayana practice this Deity would be known as a yiddam,a manifestation of consciousness you create in meditation to realize as an aspect of yourself.
[3]There is an ancient tantric practice to achieve ego lessness in which the body and all thoughts of self are offered as food to the Gods.
The purpose is not to replace the Masters, but to help you tap in to the same Source as the Masters. You need to learn how to do what the Masters do rather than rely on them for everything—for it is only in practicing mastery that you become a Master. Creating a Deity is an act of your own God Power, for you are a Creator, an embodiment of self-existing, innate unlimited consciousness. This enables you to be whatever you wish, to recreate yourself in whatever form and with whatever attributes you desire.
Now you will invoke and become the Violet Tara. She manifests the aspect of the Divine Mother that dissolves ignorance, judgments, negative energy, and raises everything her gaze rests upon into a state of higher purity and perfection. Her consciousness is present everywhere and at all times just as violet light is always present in white light—so she is present in our consciousness, waiting to be invoked. You don’t see violet light until white light passes through a prism or raindrops and is diffracted into its constituent colors. As the Divine Mother has given birth to everything in nature, the violet light is one of her expressions as much as the flowers of the Earth.
Saint Germain, as the Chohan (head) of the 7th Ray, helps direct this activity on the Earth for the benefit of humanity. It is through his initiative that the Council of Light has allowed him to teach this activity to his students. He now enlists our support to manifest this purifying activity. Even without following the steps given here, you can always invoke the Violet Consuming Flame by your own sincere thoughts and actions. Simply by meditating, the purifying activity of the Violet Flame takes place to some degree on its own. However, the practices given here amplify its activity to a much greater degree.
Deity creation begins the same way all creation takes place—with a vision. Then comes verbal enunciation of what you desire (through affirmation or mantra)—then comes acceptance. Visualize what you want. An artist starts with an image in mind; a carpenter who wants to make a chair starts with the thought of a chair. Here, you will focus on the thought and image of Violet Tara.
First, dedicate your anticipated action for the benefit of humanity.[3] Enter a state of peaceful awareness, free of thoughts, allowing your mind to settle in the soft spot near your heart. See yourself seated in a beautiful amethyst temple with amethyst pillars and a floor of white marble. Outside the temple stand the Lords of the Four Directions. In the sky surrounding the temple are the Seven Mighty Elohim (Hebrew: Gods). These are manifestations of the seven spirits (Sanskrit: Saptarishis)that emanated from the Source, whose activity is carried out on Earth by the seven Elohim, the seven Ascended Masters, Saint Germain being the Elohim of the Seventh Ray.
Standing before you is Violet Tara, made of violet light, offering in her hands an amethyst, sword, and mala. These represent the three aspects of all tantric practice: mantra, mudra, and visualization. Her arms are outstretched toward you, and myriad rays of violet light emanate from her heart to yours. Pray as follows to Saint Germain for this vision to be empowered (obtain the book to read the remainder the practice).
[2]In Vajrayana practice this Deity would be known as a yiddam,a manifestation of consciousness you create in meditation to realize as an aspect of yourself.
[3]There is an ancient tantric practice to achieve ego lessness in which the body and all thoughts of self are offered as food to the Gods.
Lady Master Pearl, My Teacher
CHAPTER 26
A NEAR ASCENSION

There was a girl in town we called The Butterfly, as she seemed to flit around bringing joy wherever she lit. One day I was sitting at a table in the health food store where I worked part time, when she came in and sat with me. We exchanged a few words, and then she reached over and took hold of my hand, looking deeply into my eyes. Energy flowed from her hand into mine, and I felt the room swimming in Light. I felt that I was dissolving into her phosphorescent blue eyes, which seemed to be getting larger as my connection with the Earth dissolved. I felt the only thing holding me back was the pain where she was holding my hand. Just when I felt I couldn’t take it anymore, she let go.
“Hi, I’m Amana,” she said nonchalantly.
“You should see Pearl,” I said, holding my hand under the table so that she would not grasp it again.
“Well, maybe I should, since you’re the third person to tell me that.”
I gave her Pearl’s phone number and did not see her again for a long time.
A week later I saw Pearl and she said, “That girl you sent came to see me.”
For some reason she had felt to take Amana into her bedroom at the back of the house—a first, because Pearl kept her personal space private. She sat on the edge of her bed, Amana in a chair facing her. Pearl reached out and took hold of her hands. She described the same experience I’d had, except Amana actually rose out of the chair and began to float upward.
“You are ascending,” Pearl said.
“Oh, am I?” she asked, in innocence.
“Yes, are you ready to go?” Pearl asked.
“Well, I don’t know,” she answered, settling back down in her chair.
Once more, Amana turned her attention inward and began to rise upward. On the third time, Pearl was sure that she would go all the way and dissolve into light. But Amana suddenly relaxed with a sigh, and everything returned to normal. Amana said she would think about what Pearl said about ascending and come back when she had her answer. After she left, Jerry came out of the living room where he had gone to read the newspaper and said, “What was going on in there?”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought the whole house was going up...I felt everything was dissolving," Jerry said.
“Yes, I thought so too,” Pearl said.
Amana returned a few weeks later, and again they retreated to Pearl’s room. This time nothing out of the ordinary happened, and Amana said, “I just met a wonderful man, and think I’m falling in love with him. I’ve never had a relationship with a spiritual partner, so I want to stay and see what it’s like.”
Soon Amana and her new partner left town, moving south to a rural area in the hills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Years later I visited them and was surprised to see that this angelic being was now a grounded mother. She had two young children, a boy and girl, who clutched her legs as she cooked dinner. When she greeted me with a hug there was none of the amazing energy I had once felt. Years later I heard that she was diagnosed with cancer and passed on suddenly. It seemed that the experience of being a mother was the last earthly experience her soul craved before ascension.
“Hi, I’m Amana,” she said nonchalantly.
“You should see Pearl,” I said, holding my hand under the table so that she would not grasp it again.
“Well, maybe I should, since you’re the third person to tell me that.”
I gave her Pearl’s phone number and did not see her again for a long time.
A week later I saw Pearl and she said, “That girl you sent came to see me.”
For some reason she had felt to take Amana into her bedroom at the back of the house—a first, because Pearl kept her personal space private. She sat on the edge of her bed, Amana in a chair facing her. Pearl reached out and took hold of her hands. She described the same experience I’d had, except Amana actually rose out of the chair and began to float upward.
“You are ascending,” Pearl said.
“Oh, am I?” she asked, in innocence.
“Yes, are you ready to go?” Pearl asked.
“Well, I don’t know,” she answered, settling back down in her chair.
Once more, Amana turned her attention inward and began to rise upward. On the third time, Pearl was sure that she would go all the way and dissolve into light. But Amana suddenly relaxed with a sigh, and everything returned to normal. Amana said she would think about what Pearl said about ascending and come back when she had her answer. After she left, Jerry came out of the living room where he had gone to read the newspaper and said, “What was going on in there?”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought the whole house was going up...I felt everything was dissolving," Jerry said.
“Yes, I thought so too,” Pearl said.
Amana returned a few weeks later, and again they retreated to Pearl’s room. This time nothing out of the ordinary happened, and Amana said, “I just met a wonderful man, and think I’m falling in love with him. I’ve never had a relationship with a spiritual partner, so I want to stay and see what it’s like.”
Soon Amana and her new partner left town, moving south to a rural area in the hills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Years later I visited them and was surprised to see that this angelic being was now a grounded mother. She had two young children, a boy and girl, who clutched her legs as she cooked dinner. When she greeted me with a hug there was none of the amazing energy I had once felt. Years later I heard that she was diagnosed with cancer and passed on suddenly. It seemed that the experience of being a mother was the last earthly experience her soul craved before ascension.
Step By Step: Ascended Master Discourses
CHAPTER 21
ENCOUNTER WITH SAINT GERMAIN
-LETTER BY PERRY BEAUCHAMP-
CHAPTER 21
ENCOUNTER WITH SAINT GERMAIN
-LETTER BY PERRY BEAUCHAMP-

The following experience as I give it here was experienced and told to me by Miss Allbright from Budapest. Miss Allbright was living in New York City at the time our Beloved Messengers, Mr. and Mrs. Ballard, were holding a class on the I AM Instructions at the Mecca Temple in New York City, and the Instruction was being broadcast thirty minutes of each class. Miss Allbright had heard the broadcast and had come, hoping she might get to talk to Mrs. Ballard, but as no appointment had been arranged, she could not see Mrs. Ballard immediately; so Miss Allbright said, “I have a feeling I should tell you part of what I want to tell Mrs. Ballard. I have never told anyone about this experience before.”
She began by saying, “During the First World War I was serving as a nurse. I had been sent out near the front to a building that was used as a hospital. The wounded and dying men were lying all over the floor, with cats and rats eating on them. It was a terrible condition and the foul odor of the place was almost unbearable.
“I had no help, no food, no supplies and no medicine for the men, and I did not know what to do. And as I stood in bewilderment I bit my lip and said--Oh God! If there is a God! Surely something can be done for these men!
“As I turned to look around there stood a very, very Beautiful Doctor and he said, ‘My dear, may I be of assistance to you?’
“I replied, ‘Oh, Yes, Doctor! I need everything for these men. They are all going to die if I don’t get immediate assistance. I need beds! I need food! I need bandages and other supplies! I need doctors! I need nurses! I need medicine!’
“This Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor just smiled and said, ‘No, we don’t use medicine.’
“But, Doctor, I said, I need medicine to inject into them to stop their pain. Doctor, they are going to die. And as we walked along, I would point to certain men and say, they are going to die.
“And he said, ‘No, they are not going to die. They are all going to get well.’
“As I walked along I noticed the entire Hospital had become fragrant like roses. And before he left he said, ‘I will see what I can do to help you.’
“He asked me if I liked nursing and I told him, ‘Yes, if I just had something to do it with.’
“At this time the men were lying all over the floor in a terrible condition, but within twenty-four hours after this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor was there, every man was in bed, the bunk kind, three decks, along the walls. There was food, supplies, nurses and everything was in perfect condition. I don’t know how these things got into the hospital, but they were there, and the men remarked about the walls and floor and ceiling all looking violet.
“The next time this Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor came I noticed he had a big, black beard. As I looked at him I didn’t like that. He just smiled but did not say anything. And the next time he came he didn’t have any beard.
“Every time after this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor was there, the men would speak about the walls and floor and ceiling looking violet and the entire place smelling like roses for days after each visit.
“Finally, after many days the regular doctors with their fifteen or twenty attendants came, and as they entered they gave orders for the men to be prepared for operations. And the men called out and said, ‘We don’t want any operations. We want our clothes.’
“The doctors and the attendants wanted to know what was the matter with the men, and what had happened and the men replied, ‘There has been another Doctor here, and we are all healed,’ and they again demanded their clothes. The doctors and their attendants examined the men. To their surprise they found the men were all healed and ready to go home.
“So the doctors wanted to know more about this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor and asked the guards at the door. And the guards declared there had been no doctor that had entered there. I replied to them, there had been a Doctor here, and the proof of it is, the men are all healed. I asked the guards, ‘How did all the beds and supplies get in there?’ And none of them knew anything about how any of these things gotten in there.
“I said further, ‘I don’t know how the Doctor got in here and I don’t know how he got out of here, but I do know he was here, and there is plenty of proof of it.’ They were amazed but acknowledged that this same Doctor had been to other hospitals also.
“One time after this Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor had been there, I met a nurse as I went through the door, and she just stepped back in great surprise and said, ‘Oh, Miss Allbright—what,’ and she stepped back in great surprise and just looked with great, great surprise, and I asked her why she acted that way. She replied, ‘There is a Great Light around you, don’t you see it?’
“I replied that I did not, and she said no more.”
Miss Allbright related this experience to me when we were standing in the lobby of the Mecca Temple, New York City. As she turned and looked through the door to the stage she saw the picture of Our Beloved Master, Saint Germain. She pointed to the picture and said, “There is the picture of that Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor, only he is so much more beautiful and wonderful. You have never seen such beautiful clothes and you have never seen a beautiful person until you see that Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor!”
“The last time this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor came to the hospital he said, ‘When your service is over what would you like to do?’
“I replied, ‘Go to America.’ He just smiled and said, ‘Go to America?’ then said no more about it. Then he said, ‘When you need help, call to me and I will help you.’ And I said, ‘How can I call to you. I don’t even know your name?’ He did not reply but just smiled.
“After my service was over and I was home again, one day a very beautiful man came to my place and said, ‘How would you like to travel?’
“I told him, ‘Second Class passage.’
“He said, ‘Have you friends or relatives in America?’
“I replied, ‘I do, but I do not know where they are.’
“He left and later returned and handed me an envelope. In it was a ticket for Second Class passage by ship to New York and the names and addresses of my people in New York City. I came as soon as I could get ready and have been here since. I have never told anyone about this experience before. I just had the feeling I should tell you and I hope to get to see Mrs. Ballard.”
An appointment was made and she did get to see Mrs. Ballard. After Miss Allbright finished telling me of this experience, which was just before the evening class, I had the opportunity to tell Alta (Mrs. Perry Beauchamp) and Alice Bell at the book table about it. As I told them the story there was a flash of Light that came down from above, which was surely a signal from Our Blessed Ascended Master Saint Germain that this story was true!
Some weeks later I had an opportunity to tell this story to Mr. and Mrs. Ballard. Mr. Ballard said it was true, and Mrs. Ballard said that Miss Allbright had told her about the experience as I had related it to them. About a year later I was asked to tell this story to an audience of about three thousand people. There were two men in the audience who were in Budapest during the war. They said that there was an account of this experience in the newspaper and that the guards were on trial for not knowing how the Doctor got into the hospital!
She began by saying, “During the First World War I was serving as a nurse. I had been sent out near the front to a building that was used as a hospital. The wounded and dying men were lying all over the floor, with cats and rats eating on them. It was a terrible condition and the foul odor of the place was almost unbearable.
“I had no help, no food, no supplies and no medicine for the men, and I did not know what to do. And as I stood in bewilderment I bit my lip and said--Oh God! If there is a God! Surely something can be done for these men!
“As I turned to look around there stood a very, very Beautiful Doctor and he said, ‘My dear, may I be of assistance to you?’
“I replied, ‘Oh, Yes, Doctor! I need everything for these men. They are all going to die if I don’t get immediate assistance. I need beds! I need food! I need bandages and other supplies! I need doctors! I need nurses! I need medicine!’
“This Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor just smiled and said, ‘No, we don’t use medicine.’
“But, Doctor, I said, I need medicine to inject into them to stop their pain. Doctor, they are going to die. And as we walked along, I would point to certain men and say, they are going to die.
“And he said, ‘No, they are not going to die. They are all going to get well.’
“As I walked along I noticed the entire Hospital had become fragrant like roses. And before he left he said, ‘I will see what I can do to help you.’
“He asked me if I liked nursing and I told him, ‘Yes, if I just had something to do it with.’
“At this time the men were lying all over the floor in a terrible condition, but within twenty-four hours after this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor was there, every man was in bed, the bunk kind, three decks, along the walls. There was food, supplies, nurses and everything was in perfect condition. I don’t know how these things got into the hospital, but they were there, and the men remarked about the walls and floor and ceiling all looking violet.
“The next time this Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor came I noticed he had a big, black beard. As I looked at him I didn’t like that. He just smiled but did not say anything. And the next time he came he didn’t have any beard.
“Every time after this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor was there, the men would speak about the walls and floor and ceiling looking violet and the entire place smelling like roses for days after each visit.
“Finally, after many days the regular doctors with their fifteen or twenty attendants came, and as they entered they gave orders for the men to be prepared for operations. And the men called out and said, ‘We don’t want any operations. We want our clothes.’
“The doctors and the attendants wanted to know what was the matter with the men, and what had happened and the men replied, ‘There has been another Doctor here, and we are all healed,’ and they again demanded their clothes. The doctors and their attendants examined the men. To their surprise they found the men were all healed and ready to go home.
“So the doctors wanted to know more about this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor and asked the guards at the door. And the guards declared there had been no doctor that had entered there. I replied to them, there had been a Doctor here, and the proof of it is, the men are all healed. I asked the guards, ‘How did all the beds and supplies get in there?’ And none of them knew anything about how any of these things gotten in there.
“I said further, ‘I don’t know how the Doctor got in here and I don’t know how he got out of here, but I do know he was here, and there is plenty of proof of it.’ They were amazed but acknowledged that this same Doctor had been to other hospitals also.
“One time after this Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor had been there, I met a nurse as I went through the door, and she just stepped back in great surprise and said, ‘Oh, Miss Allbright—what,’ and she stepped back in great surprise and just looked with great, great surprise, and I asked her why she acted that way. She replied, ‘There is a Great Light around you, don’t you see it?’
“I replied that I did not, and she said no more.”
Miss Allbright related this experience to me when we were standing in the lobby of the Mecca Temple, New York City. As she turned and looked through the door to the stage she saw the picture of Our Beloved Master, Saint Germain. She pointed to the picture and said, “There is the picture of that Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor, only he is so much more beautiful and wonderful. You have never seen such beautiful clothes and you have never seen a beautiful person until you see that Wonderful, Beautiful Doctor!”
“The last time this Beautiful, Wonderful Doctor came to the hospital he said, ‘When your service is over what would you like to do?’
“I replied, ‘Go to America.’ He just smiled and said, ‘Go to America?’ then said no more about it. Then he said, ‘When you need help, call to me and I will help you.’ And I said, ‘How can I call to you. I don’t even know your name?’ He did not reply but just smiled.
“After my service was over and I was home again, one day a very beautiful man came to my place and said, ‘How would you like to travel?’
“I told him, ‘Second Class passage.’
“He said, ‘Have you friends or relatives in America?’
“I replied, ‘I do, but I do not know where they are.’
“He left and later returned and handed me an envelope. In it was a ticket for Second Class passage by ship to New York and the names and addresses of my people in New York City. I came as soon as I could get ready and have been here since. I have never told anyone about this experience before. I just had the feeling I should tell you and I hope to get to see Mrs. Ballard.”
An appointment was made and she did get to see Mrs. Ballard. After Miss Allbright finished telling me of this experience, which was just before the evening class, I had the opportunity to tell Alta (Mrs. Perry Beauchamp) and Alice Bell at the book table about it. As I told them the story there was a flash of Light that came down from above, which was surely a signal from Our Blessed Ascended Master Saint Germain that this story was true!
Some weeks later I had an opportunity to tell this story to Mr. and Mrs. Ballard. Mr. Ballard said it was true, and Mrs. Ballard said that Miss Allbright had told her about the experience as I had related it to them. About a year later I was asked to tell this story to an audience of about three thousand people. There were two men in the audience who were in Budapest during the war. They said that there was an account of this experience in the newspaper and that the guards were on trial for not knowing how the Doctor got into the hospital!
CHAPTER 6
YOUR ELDER BROTHERS AND SISTERS
-SAINT GERMAIN-
YOUR ELDER BROTHERS AND SISTERS
-SAINT GERMAIN-
Beloved ones, you need the help of the Ascended Masters, by whatever name you call them, at some point in your life. Your progress depends not only on your own efforts but also on your connection to the Masters, who are really extensions of yourself. They are manifestations of your own I AM Presence that give you the sustaining activity you require. The Ascended Master amplifies the radiation of your own I AM Presence, and as you call that Presence into action you receive not only your own Light but also the Masters’ energy raising your vibratory frequency.
When you say the name of a Master, you invoke the Master, giving that one the opportunity to expand his or her activity through you. Every time an Ascended Master is called upon, that Master can pour forth more of him or herself; so, do not hesitate to call on us in your work of raising the vibratory action of the planet. Please feel free to call on me or any other Master; but remember, first call on your own I AM Presence, and the Master can then amplify that for which you call.
The Cosmic Hour has arrived when humanity is going to have to know and recognize its Source, as well as its Elder Brothers and Elder Sisters in the Light. Even though most do not see us, we are real—more real than you—for we do not have your illusions of limitation. If you turn your attention to your Presence and make sincere application, you will see how real we are and how quickly we can act. To the human mind our response sometimes seems to take a long time, but that is an illusion, for there is only now and here. We are all here together now as much today as we were ages ago, and as we will be years in the so-called future. When you turn your attention to us in Love, we always respond.
Sometimes people receive messages from us with varying degrees of clarity. Although the message will be phrased in the familiar words of the individual and may not be completely accurate, it may still contain our radiation if the ego is out of the way. Only a few can receive our messages through the All-Seeing Eye, for that takes years of purification and special preparation. However, even if the message is incorrect, the feeling and encouragement we release is more important.
The names of the Masters who serve humanity are not important, and it is not necessary for the people of Earth to know them at this time. The names you know them by at this time have merely been given for the purpose of convenience, and are essential only for the matter of identification. You do not usually see an Ascended Master with your physical sight. If you wish to see one, you must raise your vibratory rate. When an Ascended Master appears to an individual it is usually through lowering the vibratory action of his body until it becomes visible to the increased vibratory action of the student. They are both tangible to each other; however, should another individual be standing nearby, and if the appearance were intended only for the benefit of the one receiving the Master’s instruction, the other one would in no way see the Master or be aware of what was taking place.
If you want to be a Master, then Master yourself. Gain humility. Do that by serving others. See yourself as the servant of everyone. Bless all you encounter by invoking their God Presence. Dear hearts, I am not some great being so far advanced beyond you that you can never attain what I have. I am merely your Elder Brother who has gone before you, and who has now returned to point the way. What I have done, you can do also. It is not easy, but it can and must be done.
Note from Nada: There have been many who have questioned how Saint Germain could become Lord of the Seventh Ray, realizing that he has been Ascended a comparatively short time, whereas the Seventh Ray has been in existence forever. Think well upon that and you will find a Truth, as well as a magnificent personal opportunity for you.
When you say the name of a Master, you invoke the Master, giving that one the opportunity to expand his or her activity through you. Every time an Ascended Master is called upon, that Master can pour forth more of him or herself; so, do not hesitate to call on us in your work of raising the vibratory action of the planet. Please feel free to call on me or any other Master; but remember, first call on your own I AM Presence, and the Master can then amplify that for which you call.
The Cosmic Hour has arrived when humanity is going to have to know and recognize its Source, as well as its Elder Brothers and Elder Sisters in the Light. Even though most do not see us, we are real—more real than you—for we do not have your illusions of limitation. If you turn your attention to your Presence and make sincere application, you will see how real we are and how quickly we can act. To the human mind our response sometimes seems to take a long time, but that is an illusion, for there is only now and here. We are all here together now as much today as we were ages ago, and as we will be years in the so-called future. When you turn your attention to us in Love, we always respond.
Sometimes people receive messages from us with varying degrees of clarity. Although the message will be phrased in the familiar words of the individual and may not be completely accurate, it may still contain our radiation if the ego is out of the way. Only a few can receive our messages through the All-Seeing Eye, for that takes years of purification and special preparation. However, even if the message is incorrect, the feeling and encouragement we release is more important.
The names of the Masters who serve humanity are not important, and it is not necessary for the people of Earth to know them at this time. The names you know them by at this time have merely been given for the purpose of convenience, and are essential only for the matter of identification. You do not usually see an Ascended Master with your physical sight. If you wish to see one, you must raise your vibratory rate. When an Ascended Master appears to an individual it is usually through lowering the vibratory action of his body until it becomes visible to the increased vibratory action of the student. They are both tangible to each other; however, should another individual be standing nearby, and if the appearance were intended only for the benefit of the one receiving the Master’s instruction, the other one would in no way see the Master or be aware of what was taking place.
If you want to be a Master, then Master yourself. Gain humility. Do that by serving others. See yourself as the servant of everyone. Bless all you encounter by invoking their God Presence. Dear hearts, I am not some great being so far advanced beyond you that you can never attain what I have. I am merely your Elder Brother who has gone before you, and who has now returned to point the way. What I have done, you can do also. It is not easy, but it can and must be done.
Note from Nada: There have been many who have questioned how Saint Germain could become Lord of the Seventh Ray, realizing that he has been Ascended a comparatively short time, whereas the Seventh Ray has been in existence forever. Think well upon that and you will find a Truth, as well as a magnificent personal opportunity for you.
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